The beauty industry wants you to remain insecure, but as we age we grow wiser and more beautiful in many ways. We can learn to accept ourselves and to age sustainably, which begins with a paradigm shift of viewing ourselves as more than just a sum of our parts. This is a series dedicated to highlighting the benefits of aging. 

At NŪR Skincare, we treat skin holistically and naturally – using technology and science to regenerate the ski with the understanding that the skin is a manifestation of all of the functions connected to the mind and body.

#nursustainableaging

Intro (Note from Anisa, founder of NŪR Skincare)

In many Eastern and Indigenous cultures, elders are revered for the knowledge and wisdom that they have attained through living. They are looked after and cared for as their bodies become weaker, because it is understood that their spirits become stronger.

Western/modern society, by contrast, teaches us to worship youth while the elders in our society are often discarded and made to feel useless instead of championed for their wisdom. This thought process has a profound impact on our psyche as we age, because we lose social currency and our sense of self worth diminishes as our physical bodies age. Since the value of the spirit is very rarely discussed in Western/modern societies, we begin to feel that our entire self worth is dependent upon our physical bodies.

I have seen the negative impact of this mentality, reinforced by social media, in some of my clients and their physical and mental/emotional health in the last ten years of my practice.  I recall the numerous times that clients point out flaws in their appearance that neither I nor my colleagues see, or the self-deprecating dialogue that they engage in when discussing their appearance. Clients who are in their late twenties, terrified of seeing the first appearance of lines on their forehead, are desperate to have them diminished as I say to them, “you are beautiful, because you are you.”

I, too, influenced by the modern constructs of beauty and youth, fully expected to be on a downward spiral as I turned 40, but as I steered my attention more inward, toward my spirit, I began noticing some very positive changes.

This series is dedicated to the positives of aging, the stuff you don’t hear about because the beauty industry wants you to remain insecure about the aging process.

• Part 1/8: I’ve had a wide range of experiences in my toolkit 

I have been hurt and have hurt others. I’ve succeeded in my life and I’ve failed, and I’ve learned that failure has taught me much, much more than success, so I’m no longer afraid to fail and to feel hurt. This makes it much easier for me to feel confident in creating new experiences.

• Part 2/8: My cognition is sharper – I understand complex ideas better

The understanding that growing older goes hand in hand with losing cognition is a common stereotype. In fact I fully expected to start seeing the signs of dementia by the time I turned 40, but instead, something else happened.  All of these complex ideas that I had trouble understanding, including physical and mathematical concepts, became much easier for me to comprehend. The types of projects that I used to spend months on while I was younger I could do within days. I became much better at mentally organizing my thoughts and compartmentalizing them. My brain, it seemed, was a lot sharper, as if it were actually growing. 

Scientifically speaking, we know that the brain has the capacity to heal and regenerate, given the right tools. We know that somatic practices such as meditation and yoga have the ability to create new neural connections, allowing healing and growth/regeneration.

• Part 3/8: I am more honest with myself and with others

Being honest with oneself is, I’ve discovered, more important even than being honest with others. I’m able to recognize my shortcomings and feel comforted that they don’t define me. I don’t feel the need to be all things to all people. I try to be more direct about my abilities, and I am thus able to voice my need for self-care, or the need to establish boundaries.

• Part 4/8: I am more aware of the passage of time

According to Eckhart Tolle, time doesn’t really exist except as we perceive it, and that perception is what he calls “clock time.”  Since this realm is governed by a finite existence, I feel more aware of time and tend to continuously “clean house”, i.e., remove my life of excess baggage. It’s important for me to remove toxic people from my life, and I no longer concern myself with people who fall out of my life, but rather I cherish the time we had together and recognize it to be part of my journey.

• Part 5/8: I don’t have many “f-s” to give 

As I grow older, I’m less interested in pleasantries. This is the part of aging that is most liberating. I simply don’t care if people like me or not and don’t have the time to impress anyone. This is not meant to be rude or mean, but as it turns out, this tendency to care less exudes confidence, and ironically, comes when you care least about it.

• Part 6/8: I recognize the complexity in myself and others

I rarely see any situation in binary terms, and as a result, I am more open to listening and learning from others. By now I have traveled, experienced different cultures, met a vast variety of different people, and have been humbled by those far more intelligent and aware than myself. It was always the differences, rarely the similarities, in others that have enhanced my life so when I am confronted with complexities and differences now, I embrace them in others.

• Part 7/8: I love more deeply

Our time here is finite, so I allow myself to be more vulnerable -- to cherish every moment with those whom I love, and to not allow petty conflicts to come between the people I care about and me. When you subtract all of the distractions, you feel an abundance of love. 

• Part 8/8: I choose to be happy

“Be a traveler in this world.” 

As an observer of my own life, I realize that happiness is a choice. Life will always throw curveballs. There will always be ups and downs, but we have the power to enjoy the moment and be grateful for all that life provides. The very ability to be here, on this earth, among other sentient beings, is a miracle. To be able to have unique thoughts and a sense of individuality among the collective, to be able to contribute to the progress of mankind in whatever little or big way, is nothing short of divine. To be able to touch, see, hold, and love is a gift. I am thankful for each day that is “gifted” to me in this body that houses my spirit.

Our modern day views of aging are proving toxic. As a result, people are suffering from anxiety, depression, and negative self-imaging. Our identities have become increasingly tied to our external image of ourselves, and with the inability to discern between reality and perfectly photo-shopped/airbrushed images of the influencers and celebrities we so often compare ourselves to, our sense of self has become a twisted and distorted vestige of what once was. Perfection seems to be the standard to which we are held and, the unattainability of that perfection is a tool that is used by the beauty industry to further perpetuate our insecurities and sell us the false notion of ageless beauty, while making billions at our expense.

We need a paradigm shift – we need to recognize ourselves as spiritual beings with a body, not corporal beings with a spirit. When you see yourself in the mirror, do you see a collection of features or do you see something beyond that? 

At NŪR Skincare, we focus on your skin health, which includes your overall health. The aesthetic changes that come with optimizing your skin health are merely a byproduct of the work we do. Much of that work comes from you – shifting your mindset, accepting yourself, and focusing on healing.

In our entryway we have a reminder for you of how unique and special you are – it is a poem by poet nayyirah waheed, which embodies our philosophy: